The scent of rain and whiskey permeate the air. Her parting words drift in and out of my mind, numbing all other thoughts. I question the implications. This is an exercise of self-restraint that stirs every temptation.

*  *  *

            The night glows. The clouds pattern the blanket of inky sky. Swift’s voice lulls me into a nostalgic mood. My friendship with you has conceptualized into the most haunting experience. It has been tried time and time again, in an almost naïve hope that the dust eventually settles. These worn-out discussions are continually recycled, as if my love for you, and your attraction to that, will sustain us.

I want you to look to me as if it hasn’t changed me for the worse.

She does not like the way the steel city has marked me. She writes to me in paragraphs.

It has though, I can’t pretend I don’t see it.

            I revisit old haunts, painting its landscape here with a Chekhov-like quality. The investment of time and emotion has deterred me from departing. It is a tough lesson – this relationship.

and you were wild and crazy / just so frustrating / intoxicating / complicated / got away by some mistake and now / I miss…

             

 

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