January 2013

My only confession is that I’m addicted to writing about treacherous feelings. There’s something sadistically beautiful about the feelings of longing and heartbreak. I never wanted you to walk out of my life. I always thought it would be you to do so though. 

I’m overwhelmed by memories and drowning in confusion. The one question permeating throughout my mind is this: how was it so simple for you to let go?

I will be the first to admit I wasn’t the perfect friend. But I cared for you endlessly, and that feeling was the realest emotion I’ve felt in this life. 

I have this habit of continuously walking through the rooms on the first floor of the family house when I’m lost in thought. I envision these ways I can make a grand apology, or even simple ways of getting you to forgive me.

In times of miserable sadness, I lose myself in this world that does not exist. 

I was thinking of all the people that mattered. And you came to mind before all else. Some hours I have those freedom moments when I feel I can live without you and our conversations. But when I’m alone with my thoughts, I realize I need you more than ever. 

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